The Great Escape: A Slightly Alternative P&P
by nefret24
Summary: Pride & Prejudice mixed with some Tom Jones plot. A Forced Match Pushes a Heroine to Strike Back! R/R please.


The Great Escape

Author: Nefret24

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and/or plotlines and/or dialogue of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice nor Henry Fielding's Tom Jones. Duh.

Please read and review. 

The Great Escape: A Slightly Alternative Pride and Prejudice 

In which Austen is mixed with Fielding to create some wholly new story, of not equal parts of both, but enough to warrant the Author's profound apology for her impertinence to both great novelists.

Book I: Hertfordshire

Part I: In which the scene is set for further mischief (and the Author begging the pardon of Miss Austen for her unabashed references)

Longbourne had been thrown into a chaotic state in the recent days. Mr. Bingley, shortly after Jane's recovery, had issued invitations to each and every member of the Bennet household for his ball at Netherfield. 

Mrs. Bennet was so excited that her poor nerves were pushed to the breaking point of joy, causing her to sit down and wave her handkerchief excessively. Mr. Bennet allowed no discussion of lace or finery in his presence, and spent most hours locked in his library, reading and contemplating what silly girls lived under his roof; of which officers should attend Kitty and Lydia could speak of nothing else; Jane moonily listened to all with a patient ear and a smile on her face, for her disposition was as pleasant as ever, her being a girl in love; Mary was resolute in spending the evening at home in contemplation of heaven, earth and everything in between, since she cared not for such things; and Lizzy, while never one to spurn an invitation to a ball, had mixed feelings concerning the attendance. 

To be sure, she yearned to spend more time in Mr. Bingley's happy company, but to deprive her sister of his smiles was out of the question altogether. To be forced to meet with Miss Bingley and her sister, not to mention the proud Mr. Darcy, was the principle of her objections.

Prior to the ball, however, Mr. Collins, their cousin, late of Hunsford, where he enjoyed the favor of his patroness Lady Catherine deBourgh, had sent word that he should be coming Longbourne. He arrived, the day prior to the ball, and it was clear to all of the Bennets save Mary that while the man clearly was the greatest idiot of all England he must be put up with patiently, since their humble estate was entailed unto him. Hearing of the ball, he was most happily diverted, for to him it sounded the perfect circumstances under which to procure a wife, for this indeed was the purpose of his visit. At this juncture, he had set his sights on Lizzy, much to Mrs. Bennet's happiness, and engaged her for the first two dances for the ball, much to her daughter's **un**happiness. 

Here, dear reader, I must refer you to Miss Austen's work, for being of a lazy temperament, I have no want to reproduce it- nor suffice to say, could I do it justice. The Netherfield Ball was a disaster of the highest order in Lizzy's eyes. Her younger sisters in their exuberance had made fools of them all, Mary had embarrassed the party with her ear-splitting singing, and even her parents had spoken without heed to propriety! Mr. Collins, unintroduced, had spoken to Mr. Darcy and made enough idiotic faux pas on the dance floor to convince the company of his reprehensibleness in only a few short moments. Lizzy had had the opportunity to dance with Mr. Darcy, and though stiff in manner, at one point, he was almost personable, and it compelled Lizzy to wonder if she had not misjudged him. That was, until she observed him surveying her relatives in distaste, and speaking in hushed tones with Caroline Bingley. Gentle reader, we can do nothing but pity the poor girl for her unhappy circumstances. Unfortunately, worse disasters lie ahead for our heroine, so perhaps it is best to save some of our pitiance until then. 

Part II: Wherein plot threads begin to mingle, and the determination of a daughter is pitted against that of her parents

In the weeks following the ball, Mr. Collins attempted, in his blundering manner, to gain the admiration of his cousin, but alas for the poor fool, he had no hope at all. Mary was still beguiled by his manner, and Mrs. Bennet still envied his patroness and his entitlement, but the remaining Bennets were restless to be rid of him.

If the Bennets' were not in a sad state from the constant society of Mr. Collins, they were thrown into dismay when Mr. Bingley suddenly quit Netherfield, leaving for London with his sisters, Mr. Hurst, and Mr. Darcy. Jane was heartbroken, and her mother perhaps more so- or at least, she was more vocal in her sufferings than was poor Jane- but Lizzy could not say that she looked upon the absence of Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst or Mr. Darcy with regret. 

Upon walking in to Meryton one afternoon with her sisters (and the dratted Mr. Collins), Lizzy made the acquaintance of a Mr. Wickham, a businessman, late of London, who struck a very fine figure indeed. Amiable and cheerfulness itself, they became fast friends at sight. She mentioned their recent acquaintance with Mr. Bingley, who had deserted them for London and in her characteristic manner, dissected the personalities of his friend and sisters. Whereupon, she shortly learned Wickham's account of his dealings with the Darcy's, which did not improve her opinion of the man in question- but rather, filled her with disgust. That he should treat his own steward's son in such a way! They had been practically brothers, by Mr. Wickham's account. 

Jane, in all her goodness, was astonishment itself and refused to believe it. Upon reflection, she was eventually persuaded that there might be something of the truth in Mr. Wickham's words, but was frightened that Lizzy should take his account to heart with such little evidence to support it.

But this shocking revelation as to Mr. Darcy's character was not the only surprise in store for Elizabeth that afternoon. 

Mr. Collins, taking courage from what he perceived as Lizzy's attempt to intensify his love by so openly flirting with Mr. Wickham, made his overtures to her not a few hours before supper. She rejected him, repeatedly and with increasing conviction until she could stand it no longer and quit his presence. 

Shortly thereafter, her mother began her pleas for Lizzy's acceptance.

"I will none of him," she said resolutely.

"Obstinate girl! Churlish, obstinate girl, have you no consideration for my nerves! Oh! I am in such a state! A more fortunate match could not have been hoped for and you turn him away! Oh! What am I to do with such a child!" she wailed.

Lizzy became more and more livid as her mother continued. To suppose that she would stoop so low as to marry that horrid man for his inheritance! It was intolerable. She was determined to marry for the most passionate of love, and love alone, and not even all the saints in the calendar could profess to love Mr. Collins to such a degree as to marry him. I may be a poor country girl, she thought, but I should hope that I should not have to suffer such a fate! 

She was soon called in to face her father.

"I understand Mr. Collins has made you a proposal of marriage?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you have refused?"

"I did."

"Well, this is a matter indeed," Mr. Bennet sighed, and wiped his brow. "Lizzy, you know I have no affection for the man, and I hate to see you unhappy." Glancing worriedly at his wife, he continued, "but, I'm afraid I must ask you to accept Mr. Collins' proposals or I shall do it for you."

"Sir?" Lizzy could hardly believe her ears. Mrs. Bennet nodded her head sternly at Lizzy.

"In my folly, I thought I could procure sons The estrangement of our relations is also majorly my fault, and I'm afraid that the only remaining hope for the family is through marriage to Mr. Collins." Seeing his favourite daughter's turned countenance, he spoke again in more gentle tones. "Please, Lizzy, think of your mother and your sisters. I cannot outlive them all. It is for the best, I believe."

"No," Lizzy said firmly. "I will not marry Mr. Collins."

"Wicked, wicked girl!" her mother shrieked. "What possible objection could you have to him? He has a wealthy patroness, a fine estate, what a fortunate match it would be!"

"I, madam, will never marry a man I dislike."

"You can dislike him to high heaven, but you will marry him, by God!" Mrs. Bennet shrieked again. 

"Then I have no choice, Lizzy, but to tell Mr. Collins myself of your acceptance," said Mr. Bennet.

Appalled, hurt and angry, Lizzy ran from the room and locked herself in her bedchamber, refusing to admit anyone, even Jane, and not coming down for dinner.

Dinner was strained, for the Bennet girls were in sympathy with their sister, all, I hardly need add, save Mary, who was downhearted at Mr. Collins' choice of one of them so disinclined towards him. Mrs. Bennet's nerves were indeed on edge, but she endeavored to be as civil as she could, while Mr. Bennet concentrated on his food with a singular mind as he had never done before. It could be said that he felt Lizzy's absence acutely, for he knew how grievous an alliance it was in her eyes. Mr. Collins himself was unfazed and was practically exuberant having gained a wife as the estimable Lady Catherine had suggested. 

Lizzy remained confined for the remainder of the week, for whenever she wished to walk, her mother did not allow it and whenever her mother wished her present, Lizzy herself would take to barring the door from all visitors. 

Jane had been allowed a small number of audiences in which she found her sister to be very pale, very distraught and very determined. There was nothing she could do to offer solace and felt horrible that circumstances had come to this. 

Part III: In which Lizzy takes matters into her own hands and does something very daring 

Friday night Lizzy admitted Hill into her seclusion and they conferenced for over an hour, after which point, the maid proceeded to ready two horses in the stables and pack a few small belongings in a sack. 

She and Miss Lizzy quitted Longbourne during the night, much to her family's dismay.

Elizabeth left no note, no indication of where she was going and the whole household upon the discovery of her departure, was shaken to its foundation. Mr. Bennet cursed himself as his wife cursed her daughter as well as Hill; Jane wept, Kitty and Lydia were filled with nothing but admiration for their elder sister's actions; Mary did her best to console Mr. Collins, who felt that, once he should overcome this small test of love, it should be proven as the binding of their union forevermore. 

Mr. Bennet went round to the Lucas' and into Meryton to Mrs. Philips in the hopes of finding her. He was unsuccessful. He had no idea to where she could have fled but despaired that his beloved child could be lost to him forever. 

Elizabeth had left with a sure plan in mind. She was set for London, for she would throw herself at the mercy of her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, and hoping that they would see the error of the match, that they would conceal her from her family until matters had cooled off. Hill was beside herself with anxiety for she feared riding at day, and especially at night, as they had no escort and could not afford to lose the scant money they had or their honor to a highwayman. 

Elizabeth simply reproduced from her satchel one of her father's pistols that she had secretly taken before she left. 

"They shall not trifle with us," she said confidently, pointing the gun as she had seen her father do when she was younger. Truth be told, she was not certain how it worked, but rather believed that the sight of the thing itself would serve their purpose. 

Hill remained unconsoled, so it was that Elizabeth was persuaded to take a room at the Upton Inn for the remainder of the evening. 

TBC.


End file.
